• David Huzzard

Pet Sitting Ewoks and Other Star Wars Creatures


Let me first start off by saying you won't find any spoilers here because we won't be seeing The Last Jedi until Sunday. I unfortunately waited too long to purchase tickets and couldn't get any decent seats until Sunday at 4:40 PM.

Now on to the adventure of pet sitting an Ewok (see what I did there). Now the most important thing to understand about Ewoks is they aren't really pets. They are fierce independent warriors much like our cat overlords, and like our cat overlords if you behave in any manner they do not approve of they will jab you with a spear or try and roast you over a fire. If you treat them well they will treat you will and might even bring down an empire for you.

It is important to remember that it was the Ewoks that brought down the Empire so if you are going to invite one into your home make certain to tread lightly. Again like cats they need to be treated with the utmost respect and the rules of behavior need to be observed. What are those rules exactly? They don't like loud noises, Storm Troopers, or imperial walkers. They do however like speeder bikes and will ride one for days if given the opportunity. Always keep in mind that the relationship is not an equal one and while you may pay for all the food, treats, litter, and shelter the Ewok, like the cat, is your master. They will be a good and loyal companion but if you ever start to feel you're in charge they will remind you who the real boss is.

Porgs

This is apparently a porg. I have no idea about them as I haven't seen the movie, but look at that face. I think from the image we can make a few deductions. The teeth appear to be flat and well made for chewing hay and it does appear to be a small rodent like creature much like a chinchilla or guinea pig but it also has flippers much like a penguin. My best guess is it should be cared for in much the way as one would a small rodent by giving it lots of hay but that it also requires an aquatic area to swim around in.

Tauntaun

A tauntaun is a bipedal cross between a horse and a t-rex. While hay is for horses there isn't much hay on the icy wasteland that is the Rebel stronghold of Hoth. It can be surmised that tauntauns are herbivores and would need to eat some sort of root vegetable but it would be hard for them to dig them out with their short t-rex arms which is likely why they developed the tusks. When caring for one remember to turn them out often to give them plenty of exercise and if one is ever in your care do not slice its belly open with a light saber. That was an emergency situation and Luke was desperate.

Gungan

You may think that like the other humanoid creatures on this list, the Ewoks, the Gungan should be treated as equals but that is not the case. They are irresponsible and reckless creatures and require close to 24 hour supervision. We recommend an overnight and two 30 minute visits never leaving them alone for more than four hours at a time. Jar-Jar Binks certainly could have used a pet sitter or handler of some type when he made the irrational and ultimately devastating decision to turn control of the Republic over to then Senator Palpatine. A responsible, professional pet sitter would never allow an animal in their care to turn the Galactic Republic over to a despotic megalomaniac.

That's it for this list. I hope everyone enjoyed reading and has a good time watching The Last Jedi this weekend, and as a side note while we do take care of a wide variety of pets we do not offer care for fictional or mythical creatures.

#StarWars #Ewoks #TheLastJedi #PetSitting #Fun #Porg #Tauntaun #Gungan #JarJarBinks

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